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let women be mediocre; neofeminism and the pressure to be a Great Woman

From a distance, fourth-wave feminism (or neofeminism) masquerades as a bedrock for women to become their best selves. It tells every woman that she can embrace her personal autonomy and be whoever she wants to be; an entrepreneur, a leader, an overachieving executive who raises the standard of their field. A girlboss. While this appears to help the individual woman, the effects of neofeminism actually harm the feminist movement. It perpetuates the equating of success and womanhood, which not only unconsciously favors those who are more advantaged to professional opportunities (namely straight, cisgender, white women), but also alienates a large portion of the population it purports to help. 


The progress that we’ve made in the last century is indisputable; women are now allowed to fill more than just the mother-housewife role, and by no means am I saying that’s a bad thing, but somewhere along the way we seem to have forgotten that maintaining a house and raising children are also full time jobs. Now more than ever, the standard of expectation for women is rising exponentially. I can’t count how many times I’ve opened Instagram and seen someone talking about a female celebrity who is “doing it all!” She’s directing movies she’s also starring in, owning a makeup brand, being an active philanthropist, all while raising a newborn child. The term neofeminism is defined by women like this; Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Margot Robbie, to name a few. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with celebrating this, the resources needed to achieve this lifestyle are inaccessible to a large population of women, so when we celebrate this level of success without also doing the same for those who are doing their best with the limitations they may have, we effectively alienate a huge chunk of of our community. It also begs noticing that men, meanwhile, are allowed to be mediocre. In fact, they’re celebrated for it. I see men lauded for being present in their children’s lives, however minimally, or for making a lukewarm statement on racism as they accept their fifth Oscar, without the overscrutinization that is applied to women.  


There are a lot of nuances that come with being a woman I wasn’t prepared for, but this one is by far the most debilitating. The feeling–not simply that I could be doing more, but that I should be–plagues my every thought, no matter how much or how little I am actually doing. When I succeed, I feel like I’ve earned my Good Woman Badge. When I do anything less, I feel like I’m letting down the entire female race. More than anything, that feeling is annoying. I want to be able to revel in my accomplishments without them being dampened by the reminder of what I haven’t yet done. This is where my main issue with neofeminism lies; it leaves no room for women to just be. 


And while the neofeminist approach is marketable to the individual woman, it lacks incentive for mobilization; the mobilization needed to effect systemic changes. The 2017 #MeToo movement was a huge step forward; it mobilized people online and then translated that to real systemic change. Since then, we seem to be taking small steps backwards. Activism that goes beyond the screen has lessened significantly, and new-age feminism’s individualized approach encourages women to better themselves, but not to get out on the streets and advocate for the infrastructure necessary to make the “do it all” lifestyle, and the resources necessary to maintain it, accessible to most women. So where does the neofeminist perspective leave us? Feeling inadequate, constantly comparing ourselves to other women, and having our identity defined by the things we do or don’t do, all without making much real change or fueling the feminist movement on a large scale. 


I’m not saying neofeminism is all bad. Encouraging women to embrace their autonomy is wonderful, but I think that it has detoured from its originally noble intentions and contributed to harmful societal views of women. While celebrating female excellence is crucial, I think we could all benefit from celebrating female mediocrity as well. And I don’t use the term ‘mediocrity’ in a literal sense, I'm more so using it to refer to things that often go uncelebrated because of the rising standard women are being held to. I resent the notion that you have to be the best, or extremely successful, to be celebrated. I think we should celebrate all women–whether they be students, mothers, professionals, leaders, or none of the above–simply for being. Because womanhood is hard, and sometimes you need a high five just for getting through the day. 




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